Saturday, May 2nd, Shelby and I drove over to Jacksonville for the Arte de Mayo Premiere Party that Jacksonville Community Arts Alliance hosted at Davenport Home + Design, and honestly… I have been sitting with a lot of thoughts since we left.

First off, I love what this little art community is doing.

In a world where everyone seems too busy, too stressed, to divide, or too buried in their phones, there is something refreshing about seeing people gather together over paintings, photography, sculptures, conversations, live music, and creativity. It felt local in the best way possible. Not too polished or untouchable. Just real people showing up to support one another.

I could feel the heart behind it.

With Shelby being there with me made it even better. I don’t think she fully realizes it yet, but these are the moments kids remember later on in life. Wandering through art displays with her mom, hearing people laugh across the room, seeing artists nervously stand near their work pretending not to watch who stops to look at it. There’s a strange vulnerability in putting a piece of yourself on a wall for strangers to judge and critique every piece of your art. I know because I was doing the exact same thing.

Between looking at all the incredible artwork and photographers there, I started shrinking into my own thoughts a little. I have began to question myself more than once. Like, “Why am I even here?” And I can tell you, I was questioning myself a lot during the time we were there.

My brain kept pulling that annoying little stunt where it compares everything. Their work looks more professional. Their editing is cleaner. Their creativity feels bigger. Their talent feels louder. Meanwhile, I am over here taking photos of Texas roads, sunsets, insects, old barns, cemetery statutes, football games, tiny mushrooms that look like a mushroom town, and random moments most people drive right past without blinking an eye. There were moments I honestly have convinced myself that I probably won’t sell a single photo in this show.

And maybe I won’t.

Somewhere on the drive home, I realized maybe that’s not the whole point. Maybe just being part of a community like this matters especially when you feel out of your league. Maybe growth happens in uncomfortable places. Maybe artists are supposed to feel a little uncertain sometimes. Maybe every photographer standing in that building has had moments where they questioned whether their work was “good enough” too.

Art is strange like that. One minute I feel proud of something I have created, and the next minute I am standing beside people I don’t know, people who are so talented that my confidence packed a suitcase and quietly left the building.

I am glad I went.

I am glad Jacksonville has people willing to pour time and energy into events like this. I am glad local artists have a place to display their work. I am glad Shelby got to experience it with me. And I am glad I pushed through the self-doubt long enough to hang my own photography on the wall.

Even if my work doesn’t look exactly like theirs… it still looks like me. And maybe that counts for something too.